Sunday, January 5, 2014

Artistic License



All of my life I have loved art. I let the beauty wash over me and transcend the moment. I was so envious of those with an artistic gift. I longed to express myself in color and form and texture. Finally, I released the need to be "good". I decided to paint just to delight myself. I took one class in watercolor and enjoyed buying brushes and tubes of paint. And then I started to paint. I like some of my paintings a lot. Some not so much. But I love the process. I love the act. I love expressing myself and releasing my creativity into concrete form. I recognize God as the creator. And I believe we are created in God's image. That includes the desire to create. This call is inside ALL of us. Don't be tyrannized by earthly judgements. Get in touch with your divine side. And for heaven's sake, don't wait.
(the painting above was done by me in summer 2010. It is the fifth painting I have done in my life.)

Great Expectations


My daughter was married this June and her new husband has a 6 year old daughter. As a result, I am a new Grandmother. She was visiting last night and she was filled with delight. "Tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life!" She was going to get off school and going to the aquarium with her best friend. Wow! Life was good!
 After she left I thought of how wonderful it must be to have that fresh and joyous approach to life. Then I thought, "What if I did?" So...
I had planned a short trip to the Jack Daniels Distillery with my husband and daughter. I decided to mimic my granddaughter. Throughout the day I kept saying to myself, "This is going to be the best day of my life!" This mantra seemed to refocus my mind and spirit. It rained and it was an outside tour. "The best day of my life!" It was sweltering. "The best day of my life!" I had swollen legs and used a wheel chair. "The best day of my life!" I was concerned that my daughter was having surgery tomorrow. "The best day of my life!" I said something stupid at lunch. "The best day of my life!" And I did have a wonderful day. After all, here I was, with the two people I love most in the world. We're together and it has the possibility to be the best day of my life! But only if I let it.
I want to expect to have the best day of my life every day.

Rule of Life

           

     I recognize the importance of discipline and order in building and sustaining my spiritual health and preparing for God’s work.  It is important that I take the time and make it a priority to develop a routine of spiritual practices.  In this effort I offer the following rule of life to provide structure and focus to my spiritual formation.

I will exercise the discipline of silence and refrain from judgment and needing control of a situation.

I will seek a spiritual director and have a session once a month.

I will step outside my comfort zone and commit to charitable works in my local area once a month.  

I will maintain a journal and make an entry each day.

I will fast from judging others for a 10 hours a day once a week.  

I will attend a bible study or religious group on a regular basis to learn and share.

I will make regular monthly donations to organizations serving the poor or seeking justice for the oppressed.

I will seek to be kind especially to those who challenge me in this area.

I will start and end my day with 10 minutes of private prayer.

I will attend weekly corporate worship and continue to search for a church home community so that I may commit to a worshiping community. 

I will make a conscious effort to pray before driving and letting go of anger and impatience on the road.

I will remind myself regularly to praise and thank God.
  

I Was Born To Do This




     Discernment is a continuing issue with me.  I have challenges from within and without on a regular basis.  Yet, when I pray and meditate I get my focus and my direction back.  There is a certainty to my call with which I have difficulty making sense.  I have a resistance which arises from my “common sense”.  Looking logically at my personal situation I see an old, fat, disabled, Roman Catholic woman in a Methodist seminary.  Why would I be called here?  It doesn’t make sense to me and yet there is certainty in my spirit that this is my place.  I take a step out in faith every day.  I know to humans it seems impossible and yet to God all things are possible.  Sometimes simply the difficulty and pain of getting to campus seems overwhelming and yet I have no choice and I tell myself, “Do not think about it, do it.”  It is like being driven. Often I’ve tried questioning God to make sure that I’m getting the message right. At that point, people will be sent into my life or doors will open that I could not imagine.  For someone who loves to see the end in sight I have to rest in faith and move forward without seeing.  All the years of my life before this have been God’s preparation for the next phase in my work on earth. I have a favorite quote from Joan of Arc, “I am not afraid. I was born to do this.”  This expresses for me the inner knowledge of the rightness this path.  Of course, she was afraid.  So am I.  The call is greater than the fear.  

     The pursuit of my call must take place in solitude and community. Spiritual disciplines are regular workouts to strengthen and fortify my spirit.  Bonhoeffer explores the importance of community in Life Together. He writes, “The physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.”  He describes a community worshiping together and singing and working and at the Lord’s table together.  The description provides an image of the body of Christ in faith filled community.  The success of the community comes from order and discipline.  This is counterbalanced with personal times of meditation and silent prayer with God. 

     Thompson outlines practices that are useful to developing spiritual maturity.  Some of them have more appeal than others.  I like the concept of using several and finding the practices which seem to be the most effective.  Thompson’s practicality allows me the freedom to try different disciplines and not be tied to a success or failure paradigm.

     Finally, I feel that it is essential to exercise my faith and calling in the greater community.  Spiritual formation for me is not to build just a private relationship with God.  It is to fortify my spirit to bring the good news to the world.  I can say from my experience as a hospital chaplain that being an attentive presence requires a strong spirit and faith.  It requires not attempting to “fix” things.  Most of the time it requires patience and quietness and a firm faith in the love and power of God.  Words can be an impediment in many situations. 

     The examples of Dorothy Day and Martin Luther King Jr. show me the power of spreading the gospel of Christ.  I want to continue to build my spiritual arsenal so that I may use my strength and experiences to bridge the distances between God’s people.  I want to enable justice to be served and persons set free from prisons of poverty, fear and prejudice.  My common sense tells me it’s impossible and just like the nature of my call I should listen to reason and be practical.  However, I am committed to God to step forward in faith.  I am a child of God and I was born to do this.

 

               

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Where are you?





     Last Friday, I was on my way to attend a painting class.  There was another event in the Town Center and it was crowded.  I found a place to park on the second floor of the public garage.  There were two elevators to get to the first floor.  I use a scooter and I waited at the elevators as car after car arrived but was full.   Just when I felt I would never be able to get to my class, an elevator arrived which was about half full.  As I entered the elevator, a person on the elevator sighed loudly and said, “Oh, God!”  Welcome to the world of the disabled. 
 
 
    
     As the result of an automobile accident 15 years ago where my knees were crushed into the dash of my car and accelerated osteoarthritis, I have found myself exiled into this world.  I have struggled with adjusting to a place without my familiar strengths and abilities.  I have a new image of my future possibilities.  I have resented and resisted accommodation for my needs.  Letting go of the past and looking forward to a different future than I had envisioned continues to be a struggle.
    Many people believe that the issues that affect the disabled don’t really concern them, however, with an aging population and advances in medicine, more and more people are finding themselves challenged and attempting to live in the world where they don’t fit in and their requirements are a nuisance to themselves and others.  Often they ask God, “What am I doing here?  Where are you?”
 
 
     Reading  from Isaiah brought to mind the concept of living in exile.  In my study of Hebrew bible I was impressed by the period of the Babylonian exile.  I attempted to understand what it was like for the Israelites to be banished from their home.  The importance of tradition, the importance of the past, the complications of the feelings of guilt, and how they would reconcile the concept of being "chosen" and yet finding themselves in such a difficult situation.  The prophet recounts and refers to the past and yet in verses 18 and 19, the prophet calls to forget the past and to perceive this new thing that God is doing.  Are the Israelites being asked to remember the past or forget it? The imagery recalls Exodus and the years in the wilderness.  The form of Isaiah is poetic.  It seems to me that this section could be part of an epic poem about the challenges to the Jewish nation.
   
     The context of these verses is Israel in captivity.  There are very few records concerning the exile of the Jews in Babylon. Murphy notes that the exile is not “just material devastation but a challenge to its entire world view." The Jewish god no longer has the temple and god's people are disbursed. There is no monarchy.
 
 
 
The Jews were troubled about how to continue to worship their god when so many of his promises apparently had been broken."  The role of the prophets is to penetrate the despair and hopelessness of the situation.  In second Isaiah the prophet attempts to bring hope to the people by reminding them of the faithfulness of god in their history.  The verses and symbols which call to mind god's rescue of the Israelites from Egypt tapped into the identity of the people.  The phrase “I will make away in the wilderness" brings to mind the years that were spent in the wilderness on the way to the promised land.  Wilderness has a special connotation to the Jewish people.   The prophet also speaks of the lord making " away in the  sea" all these words and phrases have had the meaning  for the Israelites.  It is impossible for the Jewish people to forget their past history and their relationship with god.  In verse 19 where the prophet speaks of the new thing springing forth offers hope.  Those things that are remembered as showing god's love and care and power will be diminished by the plans that god and the actions that god is taking now and in the future to care for his “chosen people".  This time god will give his people water in the wilderness in abundance.  There will be "Rivers in the desert".   The Israelites no longer have or need an earthly king, their king is the creator.  Their king is god.  The prophets use words to overcome despair and create an alternative vision of hope.
 
    
       Chapter 43 in Isaiah can be a spiritual resource for inclusiveness of the disabled in the church community.  Isaiah 43:8,9 states “bring forth the people who are blind, yet have eyes, who are deaf, yet have ears!  Met all the nations gathered together and let the people's us amble" is cited as an old Hebrew scripture passage pointing that the will of god is that all people be included are included as his chosen and created.
    I had an interesting experience when I was being treated at the National Rehab Hospital.  I was in another world.  Nearly every patient there was using a mobility device. In this setting I was normal.  To the staff of doctors, nurses and therapists I was nothing unusual.  I was not defined by my disability.  My identity didn't start and end with my use of a mobility device.  It was a minor aspect of my treatment.  I felt relieved not be a spectacle or something to be commented
on.  My inabilities were not in the forefront in any interaction that I had with others.  This experience was a revelation to me.  It challenged me to consider a world without boundaries.  It made me question how much of my limitations were from without and from within me.  I had a glimpse of a reality were everyone was just a person.  They were not defined or limited by ability or gender or size or color or background.  We waste vast amounts of time and energy placing people in categories.
     This brings me to consider myself and my ministry.  I work as a chaplain at a hospital and regional trauma center in Central Pennsylvania.  As result of my ministry I engage in attending to those hospitalized and their families.  I am called to hospital rooms, the emergency room, the trauma center, the outpatient chemotherapy areas, the heart procedure floor, palliative care and in labor and delivery.  Each of those persons that I meet is being challenged with exile from their former life.  They are adjusting to being an inhabitant, whether temporary or permanent, in this 
different world where body or your mind or someone that you love is in a new world.  Like the Israelites they wonder, “What have I done to deserve this? Why me?  If God loves me and cares for me, why is my child so ill? Why is my husband’s heart failing?  Will my mom die of this overdose?  Am I here forever?”  I don’t pretend to have the answers.  Their time in exile may be temporary or permanent.  I’ve been doing this long enough to know that the best gift I can give to them is to listen attentively and without judgment to their fears and laments.  And I do not preach.  My mission is to be the presence of God in the situation.  I listen attentively to their thoughts, worries and concerns.  Usually at the end of our meeting we pray.  I may be incorporating some sections of Isaiah into the prayers.  The reassurance that the prophet gave to the Jews as a message from God is valid thousands of years later.  When we are isolated in a threatening place the knowledge that the Creator is present and cares is powerful.  The message “Behold I create something new.  Do you not perceive it?” resonates in 21st century Pennsylvania as it did in 6th century Babylon.
     This is also an important message to me.  In spite of the disdain or disregard I sometimes receive from those who are certain they will never be in my place I have trust and joy in God and God’s plans for my life.   At the beginning of my physical challenge I could never have imagined the new thing that God had created in me. I could not perceive it.  However, now as an elderly, disabled chaplain I find fulfillment that I never experienced in all those years of chasing paychecks and promotions.  I hope that the person on the elevator may never discover what it is like to find them exiled to my world.  I would encourage them to use those hearty legs to walk down that one flight of steps with gratitude.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 

United in Poverty


   The German theologian Moltmann maintains that theology must "enter into the changing conditions of the culture in which it is pursued, perceiving and developing its own concern in those conditions". (WJC p. 64) He describes the dual sides of civilization as heroic and barbaric, victorious and defeated. Moltmann questions whether the Christ that we experience in the First World is the same Christ experienced in the Third World and asks how does the First World theology and reality impact the Third World theology and reality. He writes, "The crucified Christ has become a stranger to the civil religion of the First World and to that world's Christianity."(WJC p. 65) Moltmann notes that the new poor in the First World nations are siblings to the Third World poor. He asks who Christ is for these "surplus" masses of people. He asks where Christ is for us in a world threatened by nuclear destruction. In light of this nuclear threat Christian churches are called to serve peace and life in contradiction to the scientific and technological civilization. Moltmann takes issue with ecological crises in the world today. He maintains that the acquisition of power, the consolidation of power and the pursuit of profit have led us to a place of universal ecological death. Moltmann maintains that Christology must challenge the perils of world destruction. By separating a Christology from “above” and from “below” we miss the point. He maintains that we have to study Jesus’ humanity in order to know his divinity and we have to study His divinity in order to know his humanity.
     I agree with Moltmann that we must consider theology as influenced by the context of the listener. I must acknowledge that my interpretation of the person of Jesus Christ is influenced by my background. Warren Buffett has decided not to leave his billions to his children simply because they are winners in an “uterine lottery" .
     I am not wealthy and yet by the nature of the place of my birth, my parents and my community I am a life lottery winner compared to most of the humans on this earth. Although I have spent my life working at being a good person and a follower of Christ I am called to recognize how my benefits in society cause hardship for those who provide them. I see Jesus in this world revealed through those who standup and lead the pursuit of a divine vision in the midst of human weakness and sin. People like Mitch Snyder, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa and that young girl in Pakistan, Malala Yousafzai, who was shot for standing up for the educational rights of girls. All of these people recognized the evil and injustice in the world and at the same time they possessed a divine vision of a world, a vision of the kingdom of God. 
    Christ became human and brought a message of the reality of the kingdom of God and we are challenged to pursue the divine in the mist of our human nature. The Definition of Chalcedon concerns the dual nature of Christ, totally divine and totally human. Moltman’s description of the challenges in the world today also expresses a duality. The culture of injustice, profiteering and death versus a divine culture of justice, generosity and life.
     The person of Jesus Christ in today's world still speaks good news to the poor. Many of the poor in the First World suffer from a loss of vision, purpose and a sense of isolation and hopelessness. When I consider who Jesus is in our world today I see a world of full of hungry people; literally hungry and spiritually hungry. The clamor of industrialization and marginalization of the “surplus people" in the world is deafening. The message of the reality of Christ among us revealed in the body of Christ is the answer to this noise. Christ, in His humanity, walked in this world and struggled with the challenges of injustice, poverty, illness and death. Through Christ’s divinity we are graced with a vision of the kingdom of God.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

History of the Church: Are We Still Revolutionaries?

A chronological review of the Epistles reveals a transition in the early Christian communities from a charismatic model to a more institutional model. These shifts are the result of many factors including; a growing and widely spread membership, an assembly that began to include more wealthy and socially powerful persons, the perception of Christianity as a threat to the order of society, the delay in the return of Christ and the need to address the challenge of sustaining of a community in the absence of it’s original leaders. The early Pauline letters reflect a dynamic and exuberant character. These letters, present a sense of urgency and excitement, whether discussing the joy of faith and salvation or anger and disappointment. The authentic letters of Paul reflect the dynamism of the early Christian communities. In this context “faith” is an action word. The later pseudonymous letters present a less spirited dialogue with the community. The character of these letters is more static. Faith becomes a definition or description of belief. Smith states that, “Ephesians reads like a legal document detailing a corporate merger of two major bodies”. Paul’s statement in Galatians 3:28 that, “there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female, for you are all one in Christ”, captures the character of the early communities and manifests the power of the original message. This message of liberation and equality in Christ was received and embraced by those who had been marginalized by society; slaves, women, and the poor. In his commentary on Romans, Hoyt notes that “’saints’” is Paul’s favorite way of referring to members of the Christian community… It means those set apart.” This would appear to say that being apart from the general community was a positive thing in early Christianity. . Smith states that Paul’s “use of apocalyptic traditions incorporated political diction and presupposed a ‘critique of this age and it’s values,’ including those of the Roman imperial order” These statements indicate that originally that Christian community was resistant to the influence of and assimilation into the society of the Roman Empire. Tamez confirms that Paul, “ by affirming that ‘there is no longer Greek or Jew, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female for all of you are one in Chris’ (Gal. 3:28) Christians professed the values that contradicted those of the reigning society “ What began as a small group of believers with a message of salvation, liberation and equality gradually spread and grew and attracted new adherents. By the end of the first century being assimilated into society becomes a positive thing. It would be difficult to maintain an organic, revolutionary, charismatic type of religion on a large scale and the Christian community was growing. The church and its message were attracting members of means. When a significant segment of the community included the wealthy and socially powerful, their presence had an effect on the character of the community. These wealthy members had a different investment in the status quo compared to the marginalized of that system. There was an advantage to having the church include all levels of society but the inclusion of the powerful changed the focus. The impact of a powerful constituency influenced the essence and practices of the communities. Towards the end of the first century the pseudonymous writings show us a different approach to the prevailing culture of the time. For example, the household codes reinforce the status quo and the standards of Greco Roman society. The adherence to these codes by the Christian community became a part of the practice of the faith. Non-compliant behavior of women and slaves was looked upon with suspicion in the general culture. The Greco Roman world believed that the household was the foundation for the city, which was the foundation for the country, which was the foundation for the empire. All of this society rested on the observance of the household codes. The Christians at the end of the first century began to integrate the observance of these concepts into the message. This was a way to protect the community from suspicion and also to accommodate the increasing number of wealthier and more influential members of the communities. There were additional challenges to the early church. Initially, it was expected that Christ would return soon, probably within the lifetime of his contemporaries. Tamez notes that the early church “ began institutionalizing itself and faced challenges when it realized that the second coming of the reign of God was not imminent” As time passed there was the need to develop a way for the early Christians to be sustained and allow them to continue strong and unified until the return of Christ, whenever that may be. Challenges due to the growth of the community created the necessity to provide a more formal understanding of Christian theology. Additionally, threats from heresies and misinterpretation of the message provided impetus to create a more institutional type of faith. This transition has positives and negatives. It would be ideal if the church could maintain that sense of freedom and exuberance experienced in the small communities of the early church without restrictions on the understanding of faith or interference from a hierarchy. But in order to survive and in order to maintain unity with the Christian communities spreading throughout the Roman empire it was necessary to provide a vision of faith which was more codified and static. It appears that the early church is treading on treacherous ground here. On one hand, there was the need to preserve the charismatic expression of redemption and salvation for all and, at the same time, to preserve the message and protect the community from societal oppression and persecution. By the end of the first century the Epistles reflect an institution that is more “organized “. With organization comes a tendency towards uniformity and the increased influence of predominant cultural understandings of organization. The new “organization” of the church was not created of whole cloth. It reflected a model of the cultural organization of its time. This organizational model was well known, understood and accepted by the larger community. Church leadership was also changing. Tamez notes that in the earlier church, “leadership had to do with the gift of the Holy Spirit and not an institutional assignment, persons of any social class or gender could become leaders…. before the institutionalization of the church of responsibility for leadership in the community was seen as a gift of the holy spirit.” Later, this condition for leadership was amended because of concern the “community would be in danger if the supervisor did not follow the rules the values of the society in which they lived.“ Tamez notes that the author of Timothy is “transferring the values of the patriarchal household to the church “ There is recognition in these writings that a change is taking place regarding administration. As the wealthy began to increase their membership with in the churches the author of Timothy is concerned that the members of the early Christian community have values consistent with the Greco Roman world in which they lived. He did not want them to be perceived as dangerous or threatening. In speaking about the household codes, Tamez comments that the author of Timothy believes that “conduct within the church must be the same as the conduct of the patriarchal household.”. The author of Timothy is suggesting the model of household as a model for the church to emulate. These later Christian communities were living in a hostile context with regards to the community. Hill notes that in the Pauline churches the ministries and offices had not been formalized. By the end of the first century the identity of the church is transitioning into a community that is more reflective of the hierarchy and culture of the Roman Empire. The traditionally marginalized; slaves, women and the poor are being repositioned from equals to a place that reflects the standards of the society at that time. The church begins to mirror the character and the dynamics of the culture where it exists. It is becoming less of an assembly of people “set apart” and more of a congregation of members of the general population and culture. This move towards assimilation was meant to provide safety and security for the Christian communities. While these changes do reflect some loss of the dynamism and revolutionary characteristics of the earlier church, as Professor Ringe reminds us in her lecture on “Building on Paul”, the Holy Spirit provides regular powerful eruptions of grace to keep the church vibrant and focused on the original liberating message of Jesus Christ.
Bibliography Hays, Richard B. “Interpretation Commentary on I Corinthians.” p245-249. Hill, Craig C. “Paul and Power, Revisited”. The 10th Oxford Institute of Methodist Theological Studies. Philadelphia: The Fortress Press, 1980. Hoyt, Thomas. L, Jr. “Romans.” True to Our Native Land: An African American New Testament Commentary. Ed. Brian K. Blount. Minneapolis: Fortress, 2007. Nave, Guy. “2 Corinthians.” True to Our Native Land: An African American New Testament Commentary. Ed. Brian K. Blount. Minneapolis: Fortress, 2007. Ringe, Sharon H. “Building on Paul.” Introduction to the New Testament: Epistles. Wesley Theological Seminary. Washington, DC. Feb. 2010. Lecture. Smith, Abraham. “Paul and African American Biblical Interpretation.” True to Our Native Land: An African American New Testament Commentary. Ed. Brian K. Blount. Minneapolis: Fortress, 2007. Smith, Mitzi J. “Ephesians. ” True to Our Native Land: An African American New Testament Commentary. Ed. Brian K. Blount. Minneapolis: Fortress, 2007. Smith, Mitzi J. “Slavery in the Early Church. ” True to Our Native Land: An African American New Testament Commentary. Ed. Brian K. Blount. Minneapolis: Fortress, 2007. Tamez, Elsa. Struggles for Power in Early Christianity. Maryknoll: Orbis Books, 2007